You suspect that the issue Darla describes is a result of how she is using her iPhone. Which of the following is an empathetic and supportive closed question to ask?

Question

Options

• AWhy didn't you review the iPhone User Guide before you tried to use your phone?
• BDo you realize how you are using the iPhone is causing your issue?
• CThat is not the correct way of using the iPhone; do you need a demonstration?
• DDo you mind if I show you a couple of ways I learned to use the iPhone?

• A
  6% (2)
• B
  3% (1)
• C
  9% (3)
• D
  82% (28)

Explanation

Option D is correct because it uses a gentle, permission-seeking phrasing ("Do you mind if...") that respects Darla's autonomy, frames the help as something the tutor personally learned (reducing shame), and invites collaboration rather than implying blame - all hallmarks of an empathetic closed question.

Why the distractors fail:

• A ("Why didn't you...") is accusatory and judgmental, implying Darla failed to prepare - the opposite of empathetic.
• B ("Do you realize...") is condescending; it implies Darla should already know she's doing it wrong, which is shaming rather than supportive.
• C ("That is not the correct way...") opens with a direct criticism and is declarative, not empathetic - even if a demonstration is offered, the delivery is dismissive.

Memory tip: Remember the acronym PALS - a good support question should be Permission-seeking, Avoid blame, Lead with the helper's experience (not the user's failure), and be Supportive in tone. Option D hits all four; A, B, and C each violate at least one.

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